the things we do for legitimacy.

self-explanatory.

I dont even like love songs
but the right love song can make me write love songs about a right done wrong
I like to write poetry, prose poems are pimpin'
'cause girls only respect when you act cold and distant
if you know to listen,
you won't go the distance
sensitive, consideration wont get enlisted
teenagers and killers I do not know the difference
both have hearts so icy and cold their souls are shiverin'

so just to survive on somebody I'm not
I act arrogant knowing somebody'll watch
and sure enough they do while I'm acting and maintaining an image
but its a gimmick
I'm sick of the game playing
I'm sick of pretending to like you just so you'll like me
it's the surest way to win although it might be time for me to change so here's the first thing
if I like you i'll answer your call, and on the first ring
and thats the first step toward a mating revolution
homerooms, classrooms, I'm actively recruiting
'cause as it stands now everything is strange here,
everybody's posing but really we're just
plain
scared.


yea, whut. I didn't write this btw. it's just something I still remember from 9th grade, amazingly.


As for my own thoughts, I have to say Xavier explains life better than anything else I've ever seen and heard, and for that reason I worship him and the brilliant mind(s) behind his existence.

I wasn't thinking about ____, I was thinking about _____.

Fill in the blanks.

I just miss it.

I'm so happy that it gets cold in Tallahassee.

I miss you, New York.

WOW. I had so much fun.
Jules and I left at 7:15 exactly, and got to the venue around 11. Doors opened at four so we had some time to walk around and get food. We saw all the tour buses but mostly just roadies.
Waiting in line was ridiculous. We got in the presale line and met a bunch of people, it was awesome. But basically we spent a lot of time in line, overhearing rumors about what they were going to let us bring in. I ended up having to take off my wallet chain and I gave my Hoyouku cd to some people to hold, but other than that I brought my camera in (on the premise that it did not record video, which it does. :])

Because we had presale tickets we got to be in the pit. I was pretty close to the stage, about three rows back. Julian was behind me acting as my body guard. I love having him with me, because my back started hurting even before any bands played (probably from standing in the line for so long. Damn scoliosis) and he held me from behind so I could lean forward a bit, which felt so much better.

D'espairs Ray was first. I have to say I've never been super into them. I love Coll:set and Mirror is okay, from what I've heard; but I never learned the members' names (except for Hizumi). Their guitarist is amazing. I loved their energy and they sounded awesome. Didn't know alot of their set, but apparently Julian did so I had the pleasure of hearing him scream the words behind me. X]

Next was Idiotpilot and everyone around me hated them. I don't really care about them so I'll move on.

MUCC! Their setlist:
Ranchuu
Fukurou no Yurikago (or, track 2 from Shion)
Shion
Fuzz
Shadan
Libra

Iono...I was kind of disappointed. It was probably the non-jrock fans next to me who kept saying nasty things. MUCC was the first band to have technical problems; I could hardly hear Miya and since he was playing the solo parts for most of the songs the only one who was holding up the background riffs was Yukke. So it sounded a little weird. Tatsurou's mic kept going out. I tried singing as loud as possible which probably sounded obnoxious XD But what can you do.
Anyway, I love them and I love their new album and they did a very good job, considering the circumstances. They probably were nervous from Idiotpilot's bad reception, plus the tech problems. But they held out! And Libra sounded amazing!!

After that we pushed through the crowd to get to the second stage for The Underneath. Julian hadn't really heard them so he was pleasantly surprised.
I don't know the names of their songs and I kind of forget the order. But here's what I remember of the setlist:
Some song I did not recognize
Gekkoh
Fatty Fatty Fuckin' Pigs (lol! this one may have been second, not sure)
Deep
Fall (my favorite! I was so happy they played this XD)
And another song I didn't recognize.

They were amazing! All of them have so much stage presence. The crowd seemed to like them, at least from where I could see. We managed to get very close on the left, and I got a bass pick from Ryo XD awwww.

Many emotions were experienced when I made Julian leave Bullet for my Valentine to meet MUCC with me...but things worked out and he got to see his favorite song. And when they come back I promised I'd go with him.

Anyway. I got in line to meet MUCC. I didn't think I would get nervous but as soon as I was standing in front of Miya I went all :DDDDD I kept bowing and saying "doumo, arigatou" because I don't know any Japanese. And they all said "thank you!!" which I found funny.
So it was Miya, Satochi, Yukke and Tatsurou. Julian got to take pictures of them, which sucked because I wanted pictures with them. But there was no way around the table and I was flipping out so I didn't bother to say anything.
When I got to Tatsurou he said, "Oh, I like your shirt." I can't explain how funny and adorable he sounds speaking english. I said thank you and smiled like an idiot. Then he held out his hand for a handshake but I held out my arms, and he said "Oh, okay." and gave me a hug. Hahahaha. XD

I can't remember what happened after that, except we got drinks and merch.
Then we went back to see MUCC because the line ended and we saw some people we had met before the show. They were taking group pictures! We waited our turn and got a group picture (plus a candid of us all looking at something in the middle of the group, which I love). Then I turned around and gave Miya a hug, which might have been too forward but he went with it. I gave Satochi a hug and turned just to see Yukke walking away X[ But they were so friendly and happy, even though it was obvious they were exhausted.
I saw Julian say "Tatsurou!" and he made a motion, and Tatsu leaned over. Then he whispered something and Tatsurou cracked up. Later he told me he made the cow noise in Tatsu's ear (http://youtube.com/watch?v=BbWfh3BWInE)
hahahaha.

We saw a line forming to meet the Underneath, so I bought their cd, Moon Flower, so I could get it signed. A line was forming to meet Bullet (which was awesome, even though some guy lied to us and said they weren't doing a signing) but the line was really long so we chilled for a bit.
Julian wanted to check on the Bullet line so he left my on The Underneath line, met Bullet (he was the last person they let on the line!!) and came back ridiculously happy.

I got a picture with Taka, some very nice asian lady took it for me. She was helping out with alot of the pictures for everyone else, I think she was on the tour with them. Then they all signed my cd and I kept saying "arigatou!" They were sooo friendly, maybe even more so than MUCC. When I met Ryo I made an air-bass motion, and pointed at him. He nodded, and I pointed at myself, made the bass motion and pointed at both of us. He said "OOHH! YEAH!" and smiled really big, then made Masaki move over in his chair so I could sit and another very nice asian lady took our picture. Omg, they were so nice.

Julian had his arms signed by everyone, and when he got to Masaki he held his hair back and stuck his forehead at him. Ryo and Masaki cracked up, they thought it was so funny. So he got his forehead signed too.

We didn't get pictures with Tal or Masato so we got in line again (lol), this time with people we knew. Since we were the end again we got more group pictures. They seemed so happy that people liked them.

After that we headed out. My back hurt so much. I fell asleep in the car after an hour or two.

( pictures!! )

I finally reached my goal of stretching my first holes to 2g. It's weird, thinking that I won't go down any sizes, but I'm still not going to go up any more either. This summer I was at a stupid 14g, and I've come so far, wearing my first pair of eyelets and being so proud of the fact that I can see through them. I actually feel comfortable that my left ear is complete. I have three lobe holes: 2g, 18g (normal earring size), and 12g; my inner conch, which now has a 14g circular barbell in it; and my two cartilage holes on top, which are 16g. I don't think I've ever felt this sort of satisfaction when it comes to piercings.

My right ear, on the other hand, is far from complete. I took out the one right in the middle because it kept bleeding randomly, even after three years. So that ear only has the three lobe holes. I'm thinking maybe I want a snug, or even an industrial, but I don't like those as much as I used to (plus they're a bitch and a half to heal).

As for facial, I'm pretty happy with my septum and tongue (if that counts as facial). I've wanted a vertical labret for around two years, but haven't had the opportunity to get one until I moved to college and turned 18, but even so I'm still going to wait. I don't think I'm ready for it yet, and my mother certainly isn't either. I still have yet to show her my conch (which is being a bitch, but hopefully now that I put the circular in it will heal up).

Anyway, I felt like I needed an entry for the momentous occasion of reaching my goal. I will miss wearing my tiger stripe plugs, though. I should just get another pair in the bigger size.

Fucking bass distortion!! Yeaaahhh!

I like eating chocolate ice cream and feeling my lips get all sticky, even though I lick them.

And then finding chocolate stains on my sleeve later, from when I was too lazy to get a napkin.

Apostrophe' is playing at Solid Sound Studios

...... :O

I have to flip it up into my nose when my Mom visits on Monday. It's kind of uncomfortable that way.

and now finally I'm 18.
This has to be the best birthday ever. :]
I really love everyone who commented me on facebook. Reading all those made my day.

Julian is so amazing, too. He keeps surprising me with all these presents. So far, he gave me KT Tunstall's new album Drastic Fantastic, Tiger Army's first self-titled album, Cabin Fever SPECIAL EDITION!!, a beautiful poster of a snow scene that I think was done by a Japanese artist, driving me to see Tiger Army last weekend, and Degrassi season 3 that I picked out in St. Petersburg. Apparenly he has one more for me also.

I only wish that I could have made his birthday this amazing. I only bought him two things and crocheted him one, and because his car was towed I payed for it. I actually also bought cookie dough and that night we baked cookies.

I feel so scatterbrained and random, but I'm just really happy. Even though I have two papers to write and two tests on Friday. I should get started on those.

i really like wasting time.
this thing has taken over my life DX

hahaha.

i love BAF. i ordered something on Tuesday, and with the cheapest shipping (1-2 weeks) it came on Saturday. :]

wow. this took me months to finish.



now, for the next 25 levels...